Dear Lexus Lady,
Hello! We've never actually met, but I see you everyday driving around in the neighborhood. You're the one who doesn't know where the blinker is located in your car or how to operate it, I'm the unfortunate person who has to drive behind you and guess and pray to God that I can predict where you're going or which lane you'd like to drive in minute to minute. Not as much fun as you might think, ma'am, not really. I thought by now I knew you, but then this afternoon you did something new... you went to the same place that I did. Weird! That was bound to happen eventually, though, right? What I don't understand (but honestly should have somehow anticipated) was that you would try to push me out of the parking space that I was already halfway into. Seriously?! Now instead of me thinking you're an airhead with a faulty vehicle I'm starting to think you're a self-centered, vacuous cow. Yeah, that was me mouthing 'oh no you didn't! - and then racing you into the bank (and maybe on-purpose not holding the door open for you). Excuse me, but you're lucky I didn't give you a thorough cussin'!!! Poo on you is all I'm going to say... poo on you.
Sincerely,
A
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