I'M GLAD I DIDN'T GO TO THE MALL

Yesterday Shutterbug Mama and I went to the waaaay fancy Olive Garden for lunch, as I had to have soft or liquid foods (dental procedure/nightmare on Tuesday!!!) and we both really like it. So we're walking to our table, minding our own beeswax, when out of the corner of my eye I see a coworker (whom we will refer to from now on as Fred Jones -of Scooby Doo fame -for his love of penny loafers and general disposition) of ours at a booth in another little alcove-y section as we pass by and I give a tiny, automatic wave and he totally does that guy wave with the 2 fingers. And then it hits me who he is, and I'm like "what?!".
I told SB Mama "that was Fred at that booth over there, and I don't know enough about his wife to know if that's her"
She replies with "His wife wouldn't drive all the way out here"
So I say "I'm going to text him and ask who it is"
Unfortunately, we can't see them from where we are seated, eating really tasty soup and breadsticks (I passed on the salad, she didn't, we got extra cheese on everything cuz that's what makes it the yummiest)

My message: 'who's that lady (who's that lady - to music lol)

Me, "he is so not going to write back!!!"
SB Mama, "sure he will"

Fred's message: 'A friend, come say hi'

Me, "oh my god, he said to come say hi. Why would we come say hi to his lady-friend?! Awkward!!!"
SB Mama, "we're not going to do that (paraphrase)"

My message: 'Um, that's ok. Besides, our food has arrived and we don't want to interrupt :o)'

So we proceed to eat delicious lunches and talk about various things. It was really a nice lunch. Then, as we're waiting for our check I start to think, where is he? Fred should have passed by our table on his way out. So I text him again;

My message: 'Did you leave?'

Let me just say right now, this is one of the longest conversations I have personally ever had with Fred. We're just very different people and we've never had anything to do with each other outside of the office. He's kind of funny but mostly he straight reminds me of Fred from Scooby Doo; his personality and dress - i swear he would wear an ascot if he could, he's just an ascot kind of guy.

Fred's message: 'Yup'
My message: 'Sneaky!'

That may have been flirty, but it was totally unintentional, ok?

Fred's message: 'About 1 minute ago'
' U got that dang song stuck n our heads'

Oh, jeez! that means they are not at the restaurant, but are still together? If we look outside will they be making out in the parking lot? Lord, I hope not!!! This is too bizarre... and hilarious!

My message: 'What about the song "secret lovers" that's a good one

At this point I'm feeling kinda clever, I have to admit.

Fred's message: 'Don't know that 1 :-)

What exactly does that smiley face mean? interesting!

My message: 'Think they have it on the 8 track now'

Yeah, funny me - made a crack about his age and junk... I'm so smooth!
So SB Mama and I are driving back to work and I'm trying to figure out how to spell La Quinta (not as hard now as it was then) so I can write the following message (which I changed so I could text it faster)

My message: 'Was that your truck @ the Holiday Inn just now?'

SB Mama tells me that Fred is totally going to say something crazy back to me (she knows him better than I do) and I'm like 'no way'.

Fred's message: 'Mouth full can't talk'

OMG!!! He did not just go there! But he did and we were laughing our butts off and she said he's probably already back at the office...

My message: 'You made me drop my phone!!!'

And he had, which was crazy! Then we were at work and he was already there and I got this message walking in the door -

Fred's message: 'Wow my pants did the same thing'


What a lunch!

COMFORMILIARITY

Whether it's braver to be with someone or be alone, I know not.



People have been happy either way, as well as miserable, so who's to tell?

The one thing I've learned to be true about all relationships is that they are all complex. Oddly enough that sounds like over-simplifying things but there is no other way to put it. The merging of two lives, their histories, emotions, personalities, values, dreams and fears, is a delicate, explosive and ongoing process. Some manage better than others, some not at all, but the only way to really know is to be part of that relationship' as the outsider is only permitted to see so much. Whether a couple is happy or miserable or in-between is based soully on what they allow the outside world to see of their interactions, right? That bitchy pair at the table next to you in a restaurant might be the snuggliest of snuggle bunnies at home in front of the tv and a CSI marathon. The super-smoochies in the park might keep the neighbors up with their screaming at night. And maybe, just maybe, the stand-offish, doesn't look like they ever even talk to each other types might be perfectly content with each other and their life together. Do church bells and celestial choirs mean perpetual bliss? Or can the average person be happy with the comfortable and familiar (and only occasionally loud, passionate, aggravating, and ridiculous)? Perhaps love resides in acceptance and grows in understanding.

FAT TUESDAY VOL. 2-3

Sorry,
there was no 2-2. Stuff happened, what can I say?
Let's not focus on my own weight loss journey right now, though - I'm working on it, progress is steady but slow and I'm happy for the time being. Unlike Biggest Loser, I'm not dropping weight like so many handfuls of warm, raw bread dough.
I would like to send a shout-out (really, how old am i?!) to my cuz, Angela, for her phenomenal pound losses after her surgery in August. To keep with the theme of things only 30-somethings-who-wish-they-weren't-30-yet say, 'You Go Girl!!' lol, I kill me sometimes.
Also, congrats to the ladies very happily putting on the baby weight right now - Amy & Christina. I know you're both being very smart about eating healthy and taking care of yourselves... keep up the good work!!!

PERFECT BABIES AREN'T ALL THEY'RE CRACKED UP TO BE

Ok, look, a promise was made by me (to me, sure, but still) to be a little more positive both blog- and life-wise, but some things must be let out or the pressure will be destructive.

Short & sweet of it - if you act like you know everything about something (or anything, really), people will not like you so much.

Or want to hang out with you.

And it's pretty much a guarantee that they are rolling their eyes at you as they leave the room. Also, when they see you do something the wrong way, it makes them not want to help you... as you have made it very clear that you are waaaay better at that something than they are.

So check it.

luv,

me.

THE TWISTED TREE

omg...
total accidental posting, hope you enjoy this, but most of all hope it makes you think I'm all deep and junk :)


Strange Violet Behind Trees
by Christine Klocek-Lim
—after Wolf Kahn
The house hides in dusk’s spangled purples.
It’s hard to see such colors, capricious
tones barely there once night has almost
sucked the light from the forest.
And silhouetted trees rear up
as I walk, interrupt the horizon,
their dry leaves muttering imprecations
in the magenta gleam of twilight.
You have gone and I must be careful:
the path has faded to mere shadow
and I can no longer understand
the exuberance of a leaf twisting
in the breeze. How does autumn tangle
everything so elegantly, as when crimson
replaces the decorous sheen of green?
Such willful ambiguity. I walk steadily.
The soft retreat of chlorophyll asks useless
questions. The mother tree sleeps
and misses the violet whoop of fall,
the overlapping dive of it all.
By now night has stolen
twilight’s indescribable glow.
Our house has quietly slid
into an atmospheric blur.
There is nothing more to see.
My darling, the violet has disappeared
and I’m not yet home but I can still feel
the brittle slump of frost behind the trees

p.s. The Twisted Tree was a place, many years ago, where the artsy-trendy hipsters use to go and be all intellectual and cool and smoke foreign cigarettes and wear berets.

TEQUILA (amongst other things) MAKES HER CLOTHES FALL OFF

First of all, that is the name of a real country song (which I had the privilege of hearing on the way to Subway with Shutterbug Mama yesterday) and believe it or not, it was kind of a funny song. I don't generally (or ever, honestly) go for contemporary country music, but the words were hilarious and came close to describing a few evenings out the girls and I have had in the past - except I'm pretty sure we've never partied too hard at a Holiday Inn, but anyway...

Second, it's been a wicked hard week for my family. We had serious drama at home with the loss of my grandma - everyone's an emotional wreck right now because, as my daughter so aptly and simply put it, "she was just so nice". What can you add to that?

To be positive, as I'm afraid I've kind of grown fond of the occasional happy thought nowadays (thanks for the valuable lifestyle change, K - because this is all yours and Shutterbug Mama's influence!) I have to say that I was deeply touched by all the support and love that friends and coworkers have shown me in the past few days. And considering my mostly-grumpy, always sassy demeanor, I was also a little surprised - pleasantly so. What kind of people offer comfort to someone who isn't always nice/friendly/cordial? Really good people.
So thank you to everyone for this week.

And who knows, maybe a girl can change.

17 MUSCLES

Set the scene -
Radiant light from above...airy fog cover... harps/violins/angelic chorus in the background... sourceless, unexplainable breeze wafting hair around. Sudden pin light on male and female leads... slo-mo running...
Now, this is what happens when people meet in the movies or teen dramas on television, or made-for-tv specials on the Lifetime channel.
In real life, you meet your funky hat-wearing bf for the first time in a cool downtown pubish sportsbar famous for a 'pimps&ho's' halloween ball, a considerable beer selection, and a ginormous television. The nerves disappear quickly enough and you soon figure out (hopefully this always happens, though I offer no personal guarantees) that you can honestly be friends in person, and you do genuinely like them. And their girlfriend, who turns out to be really funny, sweet, sassy and (do not take this the wrong way, i just never noticed) surprisingly kinda tall.
Hope to hang out with both again soon... thanks for an interesting and fun Saturday afternoon!
Fade to black.

ELLA

My paternal grandmother, Ella, has always been very special to me. Despite the fact that I am not her biological grandchild, she has never treated me any differently or made me feel any less than her other grandkids. She loves all of us, and keeps loving us as more are born or married into our already substantial family.
Grandma always, and I do mean always, has sweets (both the homemade and hard-candy variety) available. There are toys and coloring books in a wicker basket to keep the kids busy, and cards and dominoes for the adults. Her skills at putting together jigsaw puzzles is unmatched and she is a pro at word searches!
She is always concerned that everyone is taken care of, that they have everything they need, before she takes care of herself. She loves her church and her family and we all love her. I dedicate this blog to her and thank her for she has done for me.

FAT TUESDAY VOL. 2-1

Take off jacket... check.
Take off shoes... check.
And... step on scale.
!@#?!
Now take off jewelry, belt, hairclip... just in case.
Step on scale.
whimper...
Ok, deep breath. No tissues handy to wipe away embarrassing tears, just use fingertips and blink a lot.
Don't let cruel thoughts about yourself sink in...
Positive.
Positive...
Ok.
Go back and read that article about how to fit in extra cardio to a regular resistance/cardio routine.
Get serious.
Cheating is for suckers.
POSITIVE!!!
Happy thoughts... you can do this -
Seriously?
Jesus - you've GOT TO DO THIS.
Get a grip.
Smiley face?
Another deep breath...
and we're good.

SHE'S A LOVE MA-CHINE!!

CONGRATULATIONS GIRL!!!!

After much hoping, dreaming, wishing (and practicing!) our good girlfriend from work is going to have a baby! We wish you joy and know you'll be the best mommy (even when you act like this ->)!!! You and your man are going to have so much fun!!! Hope to have regular baby updates for the blog...

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO!

Ok, let me give you a brief history of myself...
I have a very very sensitive tummy - it takes very little to make me barf - various sounds, smells and sights have been known to send me running from the room with eyes watering, hand covering mouth hair flying behind me...
I've hurled because of movies, cartoons, co-workers messing with me for their own sick enjoyment, ect.
The smell/sight of mac & cheese causes instant bouts of nausea... it has since I was a little kid, and therefore it is my least favorite food in the universe, always has been, always will be.
Just writing this blog is taking immense self control on my part, as talking about it is making me a little woozy.
Imagine my horror to wake up to the sounds of said activity going on repeatedly at high volume at 3am Monday morning. I wanted to cry - seriously! It was like a nightmare wrapped in a French farce... me trying not to be sick and needing to go downstairs to check on my niece and not knowing if I could make it because every time she heaved I broke out in a cold sweat and cringed and worried about falling and harming myself...
That's just a little get to know me,
love me.

TITO & THE MAN

Received a random forward text from Shutterbug Mama yesterday (omg! just thought about how cool we would sound if these were our CB handles!!! "breaker-breaker 1-9, come in Shutterbug Mama" lol!!!) --anyway!-- and we were supposed to take a random photo with our cell phone and send it back, after which we would forward to others who would send back candid pics to us. This has to be one of my faves, a pic of K w/one of his cohorts, and it started quite the interesting flurry of texts. Sometimes we get into the strangest/funniest/thinking-est conversations! Not sure why, but it's sooo easy to by honest and straight-forward with him (he's my non-gay, gay friend - despite what it looks like in this photo!). So anyway... maybe at lunch today I'll price out CB radios! Or walkie-talkies... I think I have some Dora the Explorer walkie-talkies at home. Hmmmm